Being Average

(I have to type really quietly because Andrew (the husb) is still asleep and gets very grumpy when woken up. Good luck to me, because my massive G15 keyboard is anything but quiet)

I have such a love/hate relationship with the internet. On the one hand I love it (I could extol the virtues of the internetz and modern technologies for a long time) but on the other hand it allows me to feel baaaaad about myself.

On the internet I encounter people who are just so much funnier than me, better writers than me, prettier than me, better artists than me etc. Some people when encountered with ‘competition’, will strive to do better. Me, I’m like the opposite. I get talent overload paralysis (real condition. No I just totally made that up but it sounds official) and just sit here staring at my screen unable to CREATE for fear that it will be AVERAGE.

Now I’m a pretty rational person. Logic > all, for me. I’ve been told by people they like my painting, they like my writing, they think I’m pretty. AND YET. 90% of me doesn’t believe it (the other 10% of me is a person with a superiority complex the size of Europe). So I continue to look at people who are ‘better than me’ and feel bad about myself. It doesn’t make sense… IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE PEOPLE!

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  1. i hug you.

    i always like finding out that 99% of all the people you consider better than you, feel the same way!

  2. Yes I know! Isn’t that weird because you imagine successful people to be all confident and stuff.

  3. Oh, I think all of us feel as you do, despite our “public” faces:-)

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